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    April 09

    Enjoy your coffee

    *The message is very simple and clear*

    *Group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit
    their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned
    into complaints about stress in work life. Offering his guests coffee, the
    lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an
    assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain looking and some
    expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

    When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: If you
    noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind
    the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the
    best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and
    stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
    consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups. *


    *Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are
    the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the
    quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup,
    we fail to enjoy the coffee in it. *


    *So folks, don't let the cups drive you, enjoy the coffee instead.*
    February 06

    Mr. Amr Khaled’s Message to the World regarding the Danish Cartoons

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    In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.  All praise be to Allah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

     

    This is my message to the Muslim Nation, the Muslim youth, the Western civilization, and the whole world.  I present this message through Amrkhaled.net to reach the Life-Makers youth and the youth of the forum.  I ask them to deliver it exactly as I have said it to the Muslim Nation, the Muslim and Arab youth, the West through all their contacts there and surely to the whole world.

     

    My first message is to the Muslim Nation and the Muslim youth:

     

    Allah (TWT)[1] says what can be translated as, “Say, “In case your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren, and your spouses, and your kinsmen, and riches that you have scored (Literally: committed) and commerce whose slackening you are apprehensive of, and dwellings you are satisfied with, in case these are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His way, then await till Allah comes up with His Command; and Allah does not guide the immoral people” (TMQ[2], 9:24).  If any of these eight things is dearer to you than Allah, the Messenger of Allah (SAWS)[3] and striving in the way of Allah and His Prophet; if your sons are dearer to you than the Messenger of Allah; if your money is dearer to you than the Messenger of Allah; if your country is dearer to you then the Messenger of Allah; if your wife is dearer to you than the Messenger of Allah, then expect the dreadful anger of Allah (TWT) to be near.

     

    To you I emphasize that dignifying and loving Allah’s Prophet is a divine precept in the same way that loving Allah (TWT) is.  Again listen, “Say, “In case your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren… in case these are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger …” observe the status of loving Allah’s Messenger (SAWS).

     

    Why should there be all that love?  There is another ayah[4] in the Qur’an in which Allah says what can be translated as, “Indeed there has already come to you a Messenger from (among) yourselves.  Mighty (i.e., burdensome) to him is whatever distresses you. Most eager is he for your (welfare), to the believers (he is) constantly compassionate, constantly merciful.”  (TMQ, 9:128).  It is because he is such that we love him in this way.  Accordingly the relationship between us and him is just like the ayah in which Allah describes what can be translated as, “Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and (the ones) who are with him are strict against the steadfast disbelievers, constantly merciful among themselves.  You see them constantly bowing themselves, (and) constantly prostrating themselves, seeking Grace from Allah and all-blessed Satisfaction…”(TMQ, 48:29).  In order to ensure that such a relationship remains like that for ever, in an ayah in surat[5] Al-Hujuraat, which continuously rings in our ears, Allah (TWT) states what can be translated as, “And know that among you is the Messenger of Allah…”(TMQ, 49:7).  The Messenger of Allah is among us?!  Who is this ayah addressing?  The sahaba[6] at time of the sahaba?  No, this ayah is everlasting and effective everywhere and forever.  O youth, O mothers, O ladies…  Everyone must “know” that in the year 2006, in the year 2010, in the coming century, in the past century: during any age or time, know that among you is the Messenger of Allah.  He is among you with his shari’ah[7], he is among you with his sunnah[8] and he is among you with his mercy.  He is among you with his path, among you with his way and among you with the light and guidance he left behind.  He is among you with his love to you. He is among you with the fact that each time anyone prays for him (conveying him peace and blessings), Allah returns his soul back to him so that he can answer us.  He is among us with the fact that all our deeds are presented to him every Thursday, so whatever good there is he thanks Allah for it, and whatever evil there is, he asks Allah to forgive us for it.

     

    Again, the four ayahs I mentioned order us to love him because, “… Mighty (i.e., burdensome) to him is whatever distresses you. Most eager is he for your (welfare), to the believers (he is) constantly compassionate, constantly merciful”.  So the relationship between us and him is, “Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and (the ones) who are with him are strict against the steadfast disbelievers, constantly merciful among themselves…”.  Allah continues to remind us of this relationship by saying, “And know that among you is the Messenger of Allah…”.  All prayers and blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad (SAWS).

     

    My message to the Muslim Nation and Muslim youth is, loving Allah’s Messenger, dignifying Allah’s messenger, defending Allah’s messenger and living on the path of Allah’s messenger is a duty and a responsibility that we will be asked about on the Day of Judgment.  O youth, there is a responsibility resting on our shoulders. O Life-Makers, there is a responsibility resting on our shoulders.  O ladies, there is a responsibility resting on our shoulders that dignifying Allah’s Messenger is a trust that we will present to him on the Day of Judgment when we meet him at the hawd[9]We will go to him (SAWS) and tell him we are your ummah[10], we have fulfilled our duty.  Perhaps we may have been wrongdoers, perhaps we sinned and perhaps we did not always work perfectly to reform and revive your ummah but we could not but dignify you and make the whole world dignify you.  This is a responsibility that we return to you on the Day of Judgment that you may use to intercede for us and allow us to drink from your hawd while patting us happily.  You (SAWS) would then say to us, yes, you made mistakes and committed sins, but dignifying me was so dear to you. Then you would make us drink from your hawd

     

    This is a trust.  My message to the ummah is that we can never betray that trust whatever happens; it is the trust of dignifying the Prophet (SAWS) and making the world dignify Allah’s Messenger (SAWS).  This is in addition to loving him and living on his sunnah and on his path.  This is my message to the Muslim Nation.  We will never neglect dignifying our Prophet, our beloved and our role model (SAWS).

     

    Now this is my message to the West:

     

    There exists a cultural vagueness in the West.  This vagueness results from the presence of two different concepts.  The first is a great Western concept that we respect, appraise, and need.  That concept is freedom of speech.  This is a great humane and civilized concept.  On the other hand, there is the great Islamic concept of dignifying Allah’s Messenger (SAWS).  The problem arises due to the lack of understanding of the Islamic Civilization and the Western Civilization regarding these two concepts.  The non-Muslims cannot value the rank of dignifying the Prophet (SAWS).  On the other hand, due to the below-average quality of practical application of freedom of speech, Muslims have a vague understanding of the concept of respecting freedom of speech. 

     

    Accordingly, what is required now?  We do not want to refuse the concept of freedom of speech, absolutely not.  However, the West should alter the freedom of speech so that it does not collide with the very important Islamic value of dignifying the Prophet (SAWS).  Here lies the vagueness and ambiguity.  The West understands very well the freedom of speech (which we appreciate) but it does not understand Islamic values, such as dignifying the Prophet (SAWS) and other Islamic sanctities.  This is where the Western cultural vagueness lies.

     

    I clearly say to the West, you have a problem. You cannot comprehend how much the Muslims love Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).  You are still unable to understand this point.  If you had really encompassed its significance, you would never have accepted what happened.  The West, in general, governments and people, does not apprehend that Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) is dearer to us than our parents, dearer to me than my father and dearer than my mother.  I am sure that any Muslim woman listening to me now, be her religious or not, will swear on that fact.  Just ask, what does Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) mean to you?  It is not even necessary to do that because it is so evident, but you may conduct surveys for yourselves, and you will realize how true what I am saying is.  Ask any youth, be he heedless or pious; ask any Muslim anywhere, in Bangladesh, Pakistan, Yemen or in Egypt.  Ask any Muslim in any village regardless of how religious he is, be he an obedient Muslim or not, a drug user or not, successful in his life or a failure, old or young, ask them, what does Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) mean to you?

     

    O West, I affirm that Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) is dearer to all Muslims than their own parents.  O West, Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) is dearer to us, Muslims, than our children and grandchildren.  O West, Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) is dearer to us than our money, dearer to us than our own selves.  He is dearer to us than our own countries.  O Egyptian, who is dearer to you, Egypt or Allah’s Prophet?  O Saudi, who is dearer to you, Saudi Arabia or Allah’s Prophet?  O Yemeni, O Moroccan, O Algerian, who is dearer to you, your country or Allah’s Messenger (SAWS)?  O West, comprehend that meaning, Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) is dearer to Muslims than their children and their own selves.

     

    We can never forget the hadith that I repeatedly mentioned during the episodes of “On the Path of the Beloved”.  O West, listen to this hadith[11] as it forms part of the sentimental make-up of the Islamic personality:

     

    “We were with the Prophet and he was holding the hand of Omar Ibnul-Khattab. Omar said to him, ‘O Allah's Messenger! You are dearer to me than everything except my own self.’ The Prophet said, ‘No, by Him in Whose Hand my soul is, (you will not have complete faith) till I am dearer to you than your own self.’ Then Omar said to him, ‘However, now, by Allah, you are dearer to me than my own self.’ The Prophet said, ‘Now, O Omar, (now you are a believer).’”[12]

     

    Being a true believer is conditioned with loving Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) more than our own selves.

     

    O West, this is our notion and this is our love for Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).

     

    I know that the West resists racism as they realize very well what it means.  I also know that they stand up against any anti-Semitic assaults as they recognize the serious consequences of such acts.  Yet, true contradiction lies in respecting Semitism and resisting racialism on the one hand, while humiliating the most valued figure for Muslims, the Prophet (SAWS), on the other. 

     

    Six months ago, a famous journalist of the BBC attacked Arabs describing them as a worthless nation.  In spite of being a renowned figure with a daily program in Britain, his slandering was rejected by the British as racist and he was fired from the BBC.  At that time, I was preparing a program on family matters, and knowing that he had articles and shows tackling this subject, I wanted to refer to them.  To my surprise, none of his works were available due to his intolerant views against Arabs.  There is no way to compare the Prophet (SAWS) to the Arabic nation, as slandering them is of a diminutive nature when compared to offending the Prophet (SAWS).  My message to the West then is that freedom of speech, which we indeed respect, honor, and actually need, should be modified so that it does not clash with the highly revered Muslim value of dignifying the Prophet (SAWS).  The West respects monarchies, Semitism, all races, and different ethnicities, and its respect to the Prophet (SAWS) and to sacred Muslim values should be no less.

     

    Thus, my message to the Muslim ummah is that we should not forsake dignifying the Prophet (SAWS) under any circumstance.  On the other hand, my message to the West is that the value of freedom of speech should be adapted to Muslim values. 

     

    My third message is to the whole world.  This offense does not aim at the Prophet (SAWS) alone, but rather to one billion, two hundred thousand Muslims; or rather to all humanity.  To explain this further to everyone, whether Muslim or not, I believe that Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) is the greatest personality that existed on earth.  There is no doubt that his model of reform was most successful so far and whoever denies this fact is indeed most ungrateful.  Slandering him is actually slandering humanity.  Great men that existed throughout history were qualified as such due to a certain trait in their characters.  Gandhi for example, was a great politician, Shakespeare a great dramatist, Voltaire a great writer, Napoleon a great military leader and so on.  They were all great in one aspect or the other, while the Prophet (SAWS) was great in every aspect of his life.  He was so great morally that he never hit or humiliated a soul, never beat a woman, never betrayed or lied, never went back on his word or avenged himself.  He was always called 'the truthful and honest one' before bearing the message of Islam, and after becoming a prophet, the values and principles of the Qur’an were the model for his behavior.  He was also great in his political insight.  After the Battle of the Trench, for example, he knew that it was a turning point that would not be followed by a defeat.  Moreover, he was great in his submissiveness to Allah as he bowed when praying, saying,

     

    “O Allah, it is for Thee that I bowed.  I affirm my faith in Thee and I submit to Thee, and submit humbly before Thee my hearing, my eyesight, my marrow, my bone, my sinew.”[13]

     

    He (SAWS) also used to stand (in prayer) until both his feet swelled.  When asked why (he offered such an unbearable prayer) he said,

     

    “Should I not be a thankful slave?” [14]

     

    He was great in the way he believed in freedom of opinion.  In the Battle of Badr, he changed the location of the battlefield upon the advice of a soldier.  He also agreed to dig the trench around Madinah according to Salman al-Faresy’s suggestion, and changed the fighting plan of the Battle of Uhud to respect the opinion of some of his companions.  This is how he respected freedom of speech 1400 years ago! 

     

    He was great at forgiving others.  On the day of the Conquest of Makkah, his companions were rejoicing saying, “Today is the day of a great battle and today Quraysh will be humiliated by Allah”.  Conversely, the prophet's (SAWS) response was that today is the day of mercy in which Allah will bestow honor on Quraysh.

     

    He was great in his voluntary renunciation of worldly luxuries when he could have been the richest man on earth had he wished to be.  He was also great in the way he dealt with young people motivating them to exercise.  For example, he once passed by some of the young companions of the tribe of Aslam practicing archery and he said to them,

     

    “O offspring of Ishmael!  Practice archery as your father was a great archer.  I am with (on the side of) the son of so-and-so-.” Hearing that, one of the two teams stopped throwing.  The Prophet (SAWS) asked them, “Why are you not throwing?” They replied, “O Allah's Apostle! How shall we throw when you are with the opposite team?” He said, “Throw, for I am with you all.”[15]

     

    His enemies were never able to slander him due to any bad trait.  He lived with them for 40 years before the divine message and another 13 years after it, and never were they able to smear him with a single bad trait that marred his character, or doubt his outstanding abilities.  They even testified that he had never lied in his life.  That is how great he was and that is how humiliating him smears every American, Indian, Pakistani etc.; everyone, whether Muslim or not. It is an insult to all humankind when such a great man is insulted.

    He was great in his mercy.  When he was persecuted by the people of At-Ta’ef and stoned until his feet kept bleeding, the angel of the mountains asked for his permission to destroy them.  Yet his response was to supplicate Allah to guide them and to save them.  Furthermore, in the Battle of Uhud, he was injured, overcome by his enemies, had his front teeth broken, and fell into a pit with blood gushing from his wounds.  Nevertheless, when his companions asked him to curse them and to invoke Allah to punish them, he declined stressing the fact that he was sent as a mercy to all of humankind.  He even invoked Allah to guide them to the right path and to excuse them for their ignorance. 

    He was merciful even with animals narrating that,

     “A man saw a dog eating mud from (the severity of) thirst.  So, that man took a shoe (and filled it) with water and kept on pouring the water for the dog till it quenched its thirst.  So Allah approved of his deed and made him enter Paradise.”[16] 

     Similarly, he (SAWS) said,

     “A woman was tortured and was put in Hell because of a cat which she had kept locked till it died of hunger.”[17]

     This is our Prophet and this is how great he was.  Unlike that of other great human figures in history, the Prophet’s greatness is lasting throughout the generations. 

     

    He believed in co-existence.  He trusted the Jews and gave them all the rights of citizenship in Madinah, guaranteeing that no one would harm them, take any of their money, force them to convert, or intercede with their freedom to worship.  He was also great in co-existence when he was against using the Muslims loyal to him in Makkah to create tension among the people of Quraysh, even during the war between Makkah and Madinah.  At the time of the Hudaybeya treaty, he could have waged war against Quraysh but resorted to peace instead. He could have turned it into a bloodbath, but he chose peace and forced it on his enemies.  

     

    The human race should be proud that Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) existed one day, whether they were Muslims, Hindu, Jews, Christians, believers of any kind, or even non-believers.  He is a turning point in the course of humanity.  This is Muhammad (SAWS) and this is how humanity was humiliated the day he was.  People around the world are demanding an international law that protects the dignity of this great Prophet.

     

    That was my message to Muslims, to the West, and to the whole world. 

     

    One final question remains here, which is, what is it that we want?  We do not need speeches.  It took me some time to deliver this speech, as I believe that speeches alone cannot solve this problem.  We do not even want superficial apologies that are not as deep as our wounds.  We do need effective actions that denote Western respect for the Prophet (SAWS).  We will not stop our protests until our Prophet regains the dignity he duly deserves as our great leader.  Thus empty words and shallow apologies are not enough, actions must be taken.   Until then, I need everyone to convey this message to their families and friends.  I want it to be translated by Dar al-Tarjama to all languages and to be distributed everywhere to reach the West.  This speech will be broadcast on Iqraa’ channel soon and I want as many people as possible to watch it.  Meanwhile we should do our best to let the people know about our Prophet (SAWS).  ‘On the Path of the Beloved’ for example, a program about the Prophet’s life, is being replayed now on Iqraa’ every Tuesday and Friday.  Dr Tarek Suweidan, A’aed al-Qarny, Al-Habib Aly al-Jifry and Dr. Al-Buty are all renowned modern Muslims scholars who have speeches and articles about the life of the Prophet.  Please do your best to make good use of their works as well as the tapes of ‘On the Path of the Beloved’ to enlighten the whole world about the Prophet (SAWS), until this predicament is unraveled and until Muslim requests are answered with real actions.  Thus, what I am asking everyone to do is to distribute this message everywhere and to let everyone know about who the Prophet (SAWS) is.  Our duty is double fold, we need to distribute this speech and make it available everywhere, and we need to introduce the Prophet (SAWS) and tell his story to everyone, among Muslims and non-Muslims.  This speech is to be continued and I am indeed not done yet with this issue. Thank you. May peace and Allah’s blessing and mercy be upon you all, and let us get to work.

     

    Amr Khaled

    January 15

    Joke of the Day

    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

    She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

    She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

    "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

    She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: Couple of conditions #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

    The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes! I'm single and Catholic!"

    "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

    The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

    But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

    "My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

    "Forgive me but I've sinned." The cabbie says, " I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

    The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween

    January 12

    Get out of my head!!

    I've been dreaming of him for quite some time now. But off late I've been waking up with a fright in the middle of the night and honestly I can't take it anymore!!
    I don't know what to do...
     
    Please get out of my head!!!!!
    January 02

    Happy New Year Spaces!

    Here's one of the best text messages I received for the new year from one of my friends..
     
    Life is short,
    break the rules,
    forgive quickly,
    kiss slowly,
    love truly,
    laugh uncontrollably,
    and never regret anything that made you smile..
     
     
    May you all have a wonderful year ahead!
    December 26

    Graphology

    Came across this graphology link: http://www.findyourfate.com/handwriting/graphintro.html

    I've always been fascinated by this science. Take the test, its highly accurate..at least in my case

    My results below..


    YOUR REPORT ON GRAPH ANALYSIS

    You have an optimistic outlook and a buoyant spirit

    You spontaneously give expression to your feelings without much thought. You have your own likes and dislikes and may be biased in your opinions in general.

    You are liberal and generous in handling money.

    You try to find a balance between work and leisure.

    You readily accept any new offer,project or proposal without any hesitation

    You attain an optimum speed of doing things whereby there is least compromise on speed and quality of work.

    You always present yourself well to the outside world.

    You are a person who values tradition and conservative in outlook.

    You can maintain your poise and composure even when facing criticism.

    Your goals match perfectly with your potential.Thus you avoid pitfalls in meeting your objectives.

    Your have moderate enthusiasm in your work.

    Your determination and willpower are exemplary and enviable.

    You complete your work to your satisfaction and hope for the best. You are not bothered about satisfying others.

    You have a reasonably good memory

    You are always in a hurry to complete your work.

    You are a person who likes to stay away from the limelight.

    You are always curious and inquisitive with an evergrowing thirst to learn and explore.

    Your problem solving abilities are exceptional.

    You are charming company in any social gathering.

    December 15

    Seasonal Giggles

    Poor HR people...you can't make everyone happy!


    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on
    December 23rd,  starting at noon in the  private function room at the Grill
    House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small
    band playing traditional carols...please feel free to  sing along. And don't
    be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree
    will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be  done at
    that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of
    gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
    The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

    Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

    Pauline



    FROM:  Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE:  5th November 2004

    RE:  Holiday Party

    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We
    recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with
    Christmas, though  unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're
    calling it our 'Holiday  Party'.. The same policy applies to any other
    employees who are not Christians.  There will be no Christmas tree or
    Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

    Happy now?

    Happy Holidays to you and your family,

    Pauline.



    FROM;  Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE:  6th November 2004

    RE:  Holiday Party

    Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
    requesting a  non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to
    accommodate this  request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA
    Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle
    this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now
    since the Union Officials feel  that £10.00 is too much money and Management
    believe £10.00 is a little cheap.  NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

    Pauline.



    FROM:  Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All  Employees

    DATE:  7th November  2004

    RE:  Holiday Part

    What a  diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
    Muslim holy  month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
    daylight hours. There  goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
    luncheon at this time of year  does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
    beliefs,  perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
    the end of the  party - or else package everything up for you to take home
    in a little foil  doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for
    members of Weight  Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and
    pregnant women will get the  table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed
    to sit with each other, Lesbians  do not have to sit with gay men, each will
    have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay
    men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross
    dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food
    will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in
    the food we suggest those people with high blood  pressure taste the food
    first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant
    cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

    Pauline.



    FROM:  Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All F****** Employees

    DATE:  8 November 2004

    RE: The ******** Holiday Party.

    Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!! We're going to keep this
    party at the  Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly
    at the table  furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it,
    you'll get your  f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know
    tomatoes have  feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
    scream. I'm  hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten
    holiday, drink drive  and die.

    The B***h  from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



    FROM: John  Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director

    DATE:  9th November  2004

    RE: Pauline  Lewis and Holiday Party

    I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery,
    and I'll  continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the
    Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give
    everyone the afternoon of  the 23rd December off with full pay.

    November 27

    It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman

    On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.....If I am to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt... one button at a time...No one moves...He removes his shirt... Muscles ripple across his chest .. She gasps...... He whispers .... "Iron this, and get me something to eat..."

     


    Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up!!Quick! My husband is back!!"

    Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts his butt, and then realizes: "Damn, I'm the husband!"

    November 14

    Back on track

    It's been a while!!
    Ramadan is over and we're back to our normal routine and long working hours
    Anyway, I don't mind it after a good one week break in Egypt. I reeeeeeally needed that break. It was great actually! Although it was very short, I enjoyed it a lot and wished I have applied for a longer holiday. I have met most relatives and friends but there were yet more people to meet but I just ran out of time! I even had plans of spending one day in Alex which I've never been to before, but again time wasn't enough.
    Weather was absolutely amazing in Cairo..a little chilly at night though, sometimes more than I could bear compared to Dubai's "warm" winters!
     
    Ramadan and Eid have a completely different feel there..the city is more alive, you can feel the excitment on the streets, in the jam packed traffic throughout the day (and night for that matter). People just don't sleep!! I used to wonder how they carried on the next day with their work! I used to be out till 3am everyday, but I could afford it since I could sleep few extra hours in the morning. But the thing is that almost everyone in Cairo is awake till the early morning hours! Amazing!!
    This is one place you'd never get bored in. I mean there are lots of places to go to, things to do, people to chat to and enjoy your time with. Cairo is definitely the ultimate fun destination inspite of any minor drawbacks such as the chaotic traffic, pollution, etc.
     
    Since my break was mainly about meeting family and friends rather than exploring new venues and places, most of the photos I have taken are of those I met (as apparent in the album).
     
    Now I'm thinking of going back during the next Eid which will fall on Jan 10. However, the only reason I might not be able to go would be due to my other trip that I planned during the end of Jan to New Zealand.
    I'm not sure my finances will support two trips in one month..hehe.. except if maybe my father doesn't mind making a considerable contribution to my plans
    (which I doubt!)
     
    Hmmmm...gotta get back to work now.

     

    Meanwhile, here's something to make you feel smart

     


     

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

    ``````````````````````````````````
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

    ````````````
    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
    `````````````````````````````````````````````````

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
    `````````````````````````````````````````````

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
    the country," --Mayor Marion Barry,
    Washington , DC .
    `````````````````````````````


    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````


    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A democratic congressional candidate in Texas .
    ````````````````````````````

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
    ``````````````````````````````````

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH)
    ```````````````````

    "I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
    ``````````

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
    ```````````
    "The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
    Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
    --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
    `````````````````````````````````
    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
    ``````````````````
    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
    --Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
    ````````````````

    "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
    --Keppel Enderbery

    ``````````````````````
    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
    --Department of Social Services,
    Greenville , South Carolina
    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
    go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
    next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


    ````````````````````````

    .... Feeling smarter yet?

    October 18

    Did you know...

    (Received by email)
     
    An Indian discovered that nobody can create a folder anywhere named as "con"

    This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable... At Microsoft the whole team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!

    Try it out yourself...
    October 09

    Domain names for you!

    Got this by email...really cool...
     

    People spend a lot of time thinking up their children's names. It's just

    a pity they don't always think as hard about their domain names. The

    following domains are real -

     

    Firstly there is Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich

    and famous:

    http://www.whorepresents.com

     

    Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can

    exchange advice and views:

    http://www.expertsexchange.com

     

    Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:

    http://www.penisland.net

     

    Need a therapist? Try:

    http://www.therapistfinder.com

     

    Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South

    Wales:

    http://www.molestationnursery.com
    October 04

    Ramadan - Lessons & Moralities

    Allah, Most High, says, “Blessed be He in whose hand is the Sovereignty, and He is able to do all things. He created death and life that He may try which of you is best in deed. He is the Exalted in Might, oft Forgiving.” (Al-Mulk: 1-2)

    Also, He says, “It is He who made the night and day to follow each other for such as have the will to celebrate His praises or to show their gratitude.” (Al-Furqan: 62)

    Life and death and the succession of nights and day have a purpose and that is to test us and to give us an opportunity to express our thanks and gratitude to our Creator and Sustainer. The month of Ramadan comes and goes. We must examine ourselves now and see what we have learned and achieved during this month. The test of success of this month lies in the effects it has left upon us as follows:

    1. Discipline: We learn in this month how to discipline ourselves for the sake of Allah. In our morning and evening, we follow a strict schedule of eating and drinking. We are constantly aware that even in our such mundane activities as eating and drinking, we must remain under divine injunctions. We change our habits in our daily routines because we learn that we are not the servants and slaves to our habits, but always the servants of Allah. Then after Ramadan, we have to keep this spirit of discipline in other modes of our life and must continue with our submission to the commands of Allah.

    2. Renewal of Devotional Life: Ramadan renews our enthusiasm for worship and devotion to Allah. In this month we are more careful of our daily prayers and have special prayers at night. There is no religion without prayer and Muslims learn in this month how to strengthen and deepen their religious life.

    3. Renewal of Contact with the Qur’an: Ramadan and the Qur’an are linked together from the beginning. It was in this month that this divine message was revealed to Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. We are told that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was fasting when he received the first revelation. Fasting prepares the believers' hearts to learn the Word of Allah. It is the most suitable condition for our spiritual and mental communication with the Qur’an. The Muslim Ummah pays more attention to the Qur’an in this month. This renewed contact with the Qur’an must help us in following its message.

    4. Renewal of Identity with the Ummah: Ramadan is not an individual experience only, but it is an experience in community. The whole Muslim Ummah fasts together in one and the same month. We identify with one another in our obedience to Allah. This gives us a new sense of togetherness and association. Ramadan teaches us that the Muslim Ummah is the community of piety and devotion to Allah and its members derive their strength from each other in deeds of piety and virtue. The bonds that are based on piety and virtue are the strongest bonds and it is these bonds that prove good for mankind. The strength of the Muslim community lies in its commitment to the values of goodness, morality and piety. Ramadan leaves an imprint of all these values upon the Muslim Ummah.

    5. A Fresh Sense of Care and Sympathy: Fasting in the month of Ramadan helps us to understand the suffering and the pains of the poor and needy. By our voluntary hunger and thirst we realize what it means to be deprived of basic necessities of life. Ramadan is called the month of charity and sympathy. We learn how to be more kind and generous in this month. Many Muslims also pay their Zakah in the month of Ramadan.

    6. Jihad or Struggle: Fasting in Ramadan and Jihad both of them were prescribed in the same year, that is, the second year of Hijrah in Madinah. Fasting prepares for hardships and sacrifice. These are two important things without which Jihad is not possible. Muslims learn in Ramadan how to struggle against the forces of evil in their own selves, in the society around them, and in the world at large.

    7. Taqwa: To summarize all the moral and spiritual gifts of Ramadan, we can say that Ramadan gives us the great gift of Taqwa. Taqwa is the sum total of Islamic life. It is the highest of all virtues in the Islamic scheme of things. It means, God-consciousness, piety, fear and awe of Allah and it signifies submission to Allah and total commitment to all that is good and rejection of all that is evil and bad.

    Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi

    http://www.islamonline.net/English/Ramadan/Heart_Softening/Reflections/12.shtml 

    7allo ya 7allo

     

    RAMADAN KAREEM EVERYONE!

    October 03

    Niagra Falls & Women

    Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
    Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the
    Niagara Falls?"
    October 02

    Freaky Friday!

    Well well well...its been ages since I blogged...I admit that I've been extremely lazy recently when it came to blogging. Also many things have been going on in my mind...trying to plan for what I would like to do during the next few months. My plans did not materialize yet but I'm almost there...
     
    Had an exciting and a hectic weekend. For the first time I organize a company event: a family day at a water park called Wild Wadi. In fact this is the first event being organized by our social committee so it was kind of a trial and error thing.
    Although the no. of attendees wasn't as expected (only 20 people turned up), they had a good time at te park and things went smoothly without any hassle. I could also get feedback on what employees want when it comes to family and employee activities. Will definitely help us in planning out future events I think.
     
    So the Wild Wadi event was scheduled last Friday. On the same day we took part in the Pink Walkathon which is organized every year by Burjuman - the Safe & Sound campaigne supporting breast cancer research and awareness, raising money for the same through such activities.
    The run was scheduled to stat at 8 but it started 10 minutes later. I joined other office colleagues at the designated assembly point at around 7:50...took a few photos before the walk started and had a good chat with colleagues. The weather was fairly good (although the sun was scorching throughout the walk), and the route was clear. It was a 3 km walk which was completed in about 45 minutes.
    Once it was over, we were given some complimentary scented candles and dried flowers..
     
    I had to run back home to have breakfast and head to Wild Wadi. I reached there at 11am when I found two colleague waiting for me to give them their entrance tickets. They both has their kids with them whom I was delighted to meet and play with:-)
    Gradually people started to flow into the park and it was jam packed by noon!! The place was really nice but I am sure it would've been much better if teh renovations taking place were over...would've given us much more space. Anyway I took loads of pics here and there since I had nothing else to do (no I did not swim).
    I was out by 3pm. Went home, had a quick lunch and headed straight to bed since I was almost dead from staying in the sun for so long!
     
    I will make sure that I pay Wild Wadi another visit some time in winter in a ladies only day
    September 26

    You know you're Egyptian when...

    I got this from Hooba's space..check it out...

     

    You know you are an Egyptian when....

     

    1) You call any older person you've never met before: "uncle", "Ammo" or "Khalu".

     

    (2) Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"

     

    (3) You always carry excess luggage when y! ou travel and learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.

     

    (4) Your dream is holding a different passport.

     

    (5) When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.

     

    (6) Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew ex! isted, and they look nothing like your family.

     

    (7) You look for universities as far away from home as possible.

     

    (8) You always curse at Egyptians when you are back home, but when you live abroad you make many Egyptian friends, and say how wonderful are the ones back home.

     

    (9) Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding>

     

    (10) Everyone is a family friend.

     

    (11) People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kebeerah", and when you get that, "Oqbal el Aroosa" or "el Areees", and when you get that, "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc...

     

    (12) You only walk ! on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really loud in Arabic all together.

     

    (13) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

     

    (14) You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.

     

    (15) When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to, so you won't bump into family or friends.

     

    (16) You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.

     

    (17) If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.

     

    (18) Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents, unless you are part of the lower eighty percent of the population; then you live with them, even after marriage and go out with your wife on a date.

     

    (19) You keep on saying "Kol Sanna Wa Inta Tayeb", left, right and center !

     

    (20) You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn on the light" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."

     

    (21) You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice) unless you were raised or taught also to speaking a western language, a RARE breed in present Egypt

     

    (22) You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school

     

    (23) Your parents were ranked first in school.

     

    (24) Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself (Ya Ibnil....)

     

    PS: Amannah Alikoom ... DO NOT show this to non-Egyptians. Balash fadayeh and then, they will not laugh; unless you want them to donate some money for the sad state of Egyptian youth. (in that case you can forward this to eveybody you know... MONEY is EVERYTHING for the present Egyptian Youth ) :)

     

    Kiddin'... We're fine!

    September 19

    Inspiration for the day

    The most destructive habit............................Worry  
    The greatest Joy.....................................Giving  

    The greatest loss......................Loss of self-respect  

    The most satisfying work.....................Helping others  
    The ugliest personality trait...................Selfishness  
    The most endangered species...............Dedicated leaders  

    Our greatest natural resource.....................Our youth  
    The greatest "shot in the arm"................Encouragement  
    The greatest problem to overcome.......................Fear  

    The most effective sleeping pill..............Peace of mind  
    The most crippling failure disease..................Excuses  
    The most powerful force in life........................Love  

    The most dangerous pariah........................A gossiper  
    The world's most incredible computer..............The brain  
    The worst thing to be without..........................Hope  

    The deadliest weapon.............................The tongue  
    The two most power-filled words....................."I Can"  
    The greatest asset....................................Faith  

    The most worthless emotion........................Self-pity  
    The most beautiful attire............................SMILE!  
    The most prized possession........................Integrity  

    The most powerful channel of communication...........Prayer  
    The most contagious spirit.......................Enthusiasm  

    September 12

    I've learned...

     

    I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. 
     All you can do is be someone who can be lov
    ed
     The rest is up to them. 
     
    I've learn
    ed that no matter how much I care, 
     some people just don't care back. 
     
    I've learn
    ed that it takes years to build up trust 
    and only seconds to destroy it. 
     
    I've learn
    ed that it's not what you have in your life 
     but who you have in your life that counts. 

     

     I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. 
     after that, you'd better know something. 

     

    I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself 
    to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. 
     
    I've learn
    ed that it's not what happens to people, 
    It's what they do about it. 

    I've learn
    ed that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. 

    I've learn
    ed that you should always have loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you'll see them. 

     

    I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. 


     
    I've learn
    ed that heroes are the people who do what has to be done When it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 


    I've learn
    ed that there are people who love you dearly, 
     but just don't know how to show it. 

     

    I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. 

    I've learn
    ed that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. 

    I've learn
    ed that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. 

     

    I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. 
    Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. 

     

    I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, 
    the world doesn't stop for your grief. 

     

    I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. 

     

    I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. 

     

    I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual 
    ahead of their actions. 

     

    I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing 
    and see something totally different. 

     

    I've learned that no matter the consequences, 
    those who are honest with themselves go farther in life. 

     

    I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours 
    by people who don't even know you. 

     

    I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, 
    when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. 

     

    I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. 

     

    I've learned that the people you care most about in life 
    are taken from you too soon. 

     

    I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. 

     

    I've learned to love and be loved

    September 06

    Thought of the Day

    Steer easily through life by keeping a light touch   on the controls, and a strong sense of humor. When I hold the steering wheel of my life too tightly, I become rigid and my reactions are brittle. When I hold the wheel loosely I am able to deftly swerve around obstacles while enjoying the ride. Today let me enjoy life by steering lightly.
    September 05

    Talking about Letter from Michael Moore to our Commander-in-Chief

     Got this from Umm Ali's space..

     

    Quote

    Letter from Michael Moore to our Commander-in-Chief
     
    Dear Mr. Bush:

    Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

    Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

    Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

    I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

    And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

    On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

    There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

    No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

    You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.

    Yours,

    Michael Moore